The Healing Nature of Solitude

“The capacity to be alone thus becomes linked with self discovery and self realization; with becoming aware of one’s deepest needs, feelings, and impulses.”

• Anthony Storr

Time in solitude –  time with just yourself – can be unsettling and uncomfortable for many people.  We may avoid it at all costs and focus instead on filling up our days with the company of others.  Of course, relationships are an important part of a full life and can provide us with enjoyment, meaning and pleasure.  I believe that for many of us, quality time spent with ourselves is equally needed, especially in the midst of our hustle and bustle modern lifestyle.  At times we may avoid being alone in our own company because it scares us.  Difficult emotions that we have been running from might surface if we’re quiet.  There is usually some type of distraction that prevents us from fully being present with ourselves.  Perhaps it’s excessive screen time, addictive behaviours such as alcohol consumption or chronic activity levels that prevent us from needed rest and down time.  It may be easier to avoid looking within because we are not sure what we will find there.

Time spent alone can be healing and when we stop, look and listen to our internal  process we can find the answers that we may be searching for.  This “inner self” may be called the still small voice of intuition that is there to guide us.  Often times in life, we seek answers from an external source when in reality the wisdom we need lies within us.  When we spend time alone we can begin to tune into that part of ourselves, listening with compassion and curiosity to our needs, feelings and fears.

If this process sounds difficult, you can begin slowly to experiment with quiet alone time.  Some suggestions:

*Find a spot in nature that is peaceful and still and notice how you feel without any other distractions

*Purchase a journal or notebook and begin to record your experiences there.  Simply write down whatever comes to mind without the need to achieve anything

*Practice mindfully following your breath and notice what you experience

*Schedule some alone time when you can, even if it feels uncomfortable at first

Begin to connect with yourself in a way that honors the unique person that you are, and know that you can tap into a deep well of resource within.