At the end of your day, become quiet in a place where you can mentally review your day – all of the activities, the people you interacted with, etc.  Then ask yourself when you felt most inspired, or grateful.  This would be the “high” point of your day.  Then – once you have that moment, ask yourself when you felt the opposite – the “low” point of your day.  It is optimal if you can record both moments in a journal, or notebook.

Ignatius felt that there was learning in both circumstances and therefore important to reflect on gratitude and on challenges.  Some have referred to this practice as sorting through the “roses” and the “thorns.”  After several weeks of this, you may be clearer about which aspects of your life are supporting your optimal health – emotional, mental, physical and spiritual; and which are causing you continued stress.  This stress may be coming from your own thoughts or beliefs about yourself and others – or it may be from a particular habit or interaction with a person.  Once you can see the patterns that help or hinder your growth, you can then make the necessary adjustments where possible.  For example, you may notice that whenever you exercise you feel good – and whenever you watch to my television you feel tired.  Insight doesn’t necessarily lead to change – but it may be the first step to discovering your greater potential and peace of mind.

Originally posted 2025-11-16 09:17:51.

The post The Daily Examen – a helpful tool to promote clarity first appeared on Geoff Straw - Counselling.

Many of us lead busy lives – it’s an often heard lament – “ I don’t know where the time goes – I’m so busy!.”  And yet if we are so preoccupied with the doing side of ourselves, we may miss the beauty of the present moment.  Having worked with many persons who are facing a terminal diagnosis, I’ve learned from them the importance of slowing down and finding meaning in the everyday simple things that may be missed when we are rushing around.  Facing our mortality can be a gift if we take the time to prioritize the important things in life.  Often, this involves those persons in our lives that mean the most.  One of my clients who was nearing end of life told me, “It’s all about relationship.”  We may fall into the trap of thinking that our happiness comes from purchasing a new car, buying a bigger home or getting that promotion at work.  While these things may bring a sense of satisfaction and feeling of success, they don’t necessarily give us a lasting sense of peace or even fulfillment.  When we look back on a life well lived most of us will remember the ones that we loved, learned from and grew with.  It may not be about our possessions, but the memories that we make along the way with those that we love and cherish.  We don’t have to wait to slow down and get in touch with our being side – after all, we are human beings, not human doings.

Take time to think about what your priorities are and where you are putting your energy.  Find out what is truly important to you and what gives your life meaning and purpose and then focus on that.

Michael Singer writes:

“Don’t be afraid of death. Let it free you. Let it encourage you to experience life
fully. But remember, it’s not your life. You should be experiencing the life that’s
happening to you, not the one you wish was happening. Don’t waste a moment
of life trying to make other things happen, appreciate the moments you are
given.”

(The Untethered Soul)

Originally posted 2025-09-27 16:59:01.

The post Prioritize the Important Things in Life first appeared on Geoff Straw - Counselling.

Resilience can be defined as the ability to recover quickly from an illness or set back, recover strength  or the ability to remain centered and able to cope with change and uncertainty

The great mystic Rumi, who lived in the thirteenth century left us with an essential key in the quest for a peaceful mind: “The moment you accept the troubles you’ve been given, the door opens.”

You may be wondering how acceptance of the challenges in your life could possibly lead you to a positive outcome.  But acceptance is the beginning or first step on the path to well-being.  Once we become more aware of our habitual and negative, limiting belief patterns, we can then begin the work of understanding and eventually transforming them. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese monk and peace activist who wrote and lectured extensively on finding peace and balance, taught the practice of mindfulness as a way of awareness.  By practicing mindful awareness we turn our focus inward, perhaps by becoming aware of our breath in each moment.  In this moment, we are no longer running away from our emotions and the stress in our lives.  We are compassionately facing our fears and our struggles, the tension in our body and our addictive patterns of escape from our own selves.

Through the process of mindful observation, we begin to see how we might be blocking our well-being unintentionally.  Becoming more resilient, we begin to make choices that better support health and happiness.  Some roadblocks to resilience include negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the future, which can lead to depression.  Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a type of intervention that can help us to transform our beliefs into positive and realistic expectations for health and success.   Irrational thoughts, also known as cognitive distortions, are patterns of thinking that are not based in reality and can lead to negative emotions and behaviors. Common categories include all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, emotional reasoning, and personalization. These distortions can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. We can learn to adopt a more resilient mindset by practicing positive, realistic thoughts and beliefs that will promote our happiness and contribute to a life that is meaningful and has purpose. 

 If you would like to learn more about resilience, or how to change your thinking to a growth mindset it may be helpful to contact a mental health therapist who can assist you in reaching your goals.

Originally posted 2025-09-13 17:16:26.

The post Becoming Resilient first appeared on Geoff Straw - Counselling.

The counterpart to the fight flight or freeze response, the relaxation response, occurs when the body is no longer in perceived danger, and the autonomic nervous system functioning returns to normal. The relaxation response is the opposite of your body’s stress response—your “off switch” to your body’s tendency toward fight-or-flight.

During the relaxation response, the body moves toward a state of physiological relaxation, where blood pressure, heart rate, digestive functioning, and hormonal levels return to normal levels. The fight-or-flight state is one of physiological arousal, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, slowed digestive functioning, increased blood flow to the extremities, increased release of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, and other responses preparing the body to protect itself from perceived danger or stress (E. Scott, 2020).

Chronic or prolonged periods of stress or perceived threat can keep us locked in a state of hyper arousal, which may be damaging to our physical and mental well-being.  Some people may be experiencing this now due to the exceptional circumstances that we are all adapting to.

Meditation is one approach that promotes the relaxation response and can be a helpful strategy to find your personal balance in uncertain times.

A daily practice allows for a “time out” from worry about an uncertain future.  It can be a powerful way to ground yourself in the present moment, giving your mind and your body a much needed respite.

There are many different methods or types of practice that are helpful.  The important thing is to find one that works for you.

Mindfulness is one approach that has been introduced into mainstream awareness in recent years and has generated a myriad of research on its beneficial effects.  Simply stated, mindfulness is about learning to be present; to notice with full attention your experience.  I think Thich Nat Hanh, the buddhist monk who has written much about this topic, says it best:

“Breathing in, I calm my body.” Reciting this line is like drinking a glass of cool lemonade on a hot day—you can feel the coolness permeate your body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel my breath calming my body and mind.

“Breathing out, I smile.” You know a smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your face. Wearing a smile on your face is a sign that you are master of yourself.

“Dwelling in the present moment.” While I sit here, I don’t think of anything else. I sit here, and I know exactly where I am.

“I know this is a wonderful moment.” It is a joy to sit, stable and at ease, and return to our breathing, our smiling, our true nature. Our appointment with life is in the present moment. If we do not have peace and joy right now, when will we have peace and joy—-tomorrow, or after tomorrow? What is preventing us from being happy right now?

As we follow our breathing, we can say, simply, “Calming, Smiling, Present moment, Wonderful moment.”

While this may seem like a simple approach, most of us find that it is not an easy thing to do!  We are used to multi tasking and often find that our thoughts are focused on past events, or things yet to come.

With a gentle practice each day, simply returning to an awareness of your breath, produces gradual and noticeable changes.  Don’t just do something , sit there!  Try it.

Next time – how meditation can enhance emotional regulation and equanimity

Originally posted 2022-05-16 12:17:05.

The post Why meditate? first appeared on Geoff Straw - Counselling.

• Anthony Storr

Time in solitude –  time with just yourself – can be unsettling and uncomfortable for many people.  We may avoid it at all costs and focus instead on filling up our days with the company of others.  Of course, relationships are an important part of a full life and can provide us with enjoyment, meaning and pleasure.  I believe that for many of us, quality time spent with ourselves is equally needed, especially in the midst of our hustle and bustle modern lifestyle.  At times we may avoid being alone in our own company because it scares us.  Difficult emotions that we have been running from might surface if we’re quiet.  There is usually some type of distraction that prevents us from fully being present with ourselves.  Perhaps it’s excessive screen time, addictive behaviours such as alcohol consumption or chronic activity levels that prevent us from needed rest and down time.  It may be easier to avoid looking within because we are not sure what we will find there.

Time spent alone can be healing and when we stop, look and listen to our internal  process we can find the answers that we may be searching for.  This “inner self” may be called the still small voice of intuition that is there to guide us.  Often times in life, we seek answers from an external source when in reality the wisdom we need lies within us.  When we spend time alone we can begin to tune into that part of ourselves, listening with compassion and curiosity to our needs, feelings and fears.

If this process sounds difficult, you can begin slowly to experiment with quiet alone time.  Some suggestions:

*Find a spot in nature that is peaceful and still and notice how you feel without any other distractions

*Purchase a journal or notebook and begin to record your experiences there.  Simply write down whatever comes to mind without the need to achieve anything

*Practice mindfully following your breath and notice what you experience

*Schedule some alone time when you can, even if it feels uncomfortable at first

Begin to connect with yourself in a way that honors the unique person that you are, and know that you can tap into a deep well of resource within.

The post The Healing Nature of Solitude first appeared on Geoff Straw - Counselling.